Subject: Mr. Critical’s back
Just accept it.
8-30-07
Stuffed shirts during the day on Fox News are fair and balanced-out after all have said nightie-night (with blankie):
What’s the deal with that late night Red Eye animal house anyway? Just when I’m trying to reason out serious, arduous, and sober information for the all important future of mankind, they’re clowning in pleasantries, indulging in jocular, and wallowing in wit like there’s no tomorrow. Plus, there’s enough sexual suggestions flying across that table, with promiscuous sounding repartees by the ladies, that if someone doesn’t keep a blue, green or brown eye on them, it will surely lapse into a wild shameless merriment of amatory licentiousness. So, I’ll keep watching.
All I can say is, our unfairness must be very extensive, stretching far and wide to have gotten this goomer after us:
14-year-old suspended for sketching figure pointing gun at school’s police officer:
They interviewed him on Fox News. He should have drawn it pointing the gun at an American Indian instead; then it’d have been acceptable (it’d be a Cowboys and Indians, Old West drawing). Somehow that’d fit with the kids learning the Goldenrule.
The best way to provide a much larger safe-haven for terrorists is to bomb Iran:
Then everyone will have to get Windows Vista, because the abundance of anthrax, etc. in the mail, will force everyone to only send information via email. Plus, we won’t have to fill our trash cans with all the junk mail. Since the terrorists can hide in any house, then how will we know to bomb it if it doesn’t look questionable? You say, We’ll just bomb every house in Iran. Well, then they can hide in all those caves? You say, We’ll gas and bomb the entrance to all caves in Iran. Well… yeah, I guess that would do it.
We should just change the eligible age to become President to say under 25. Then when asked about what to do about Iran and that 1979 hostage situation, he or she will say, Yeah, well I don’t really remember that, so let’s just treat them like human beings. Then hopefully they can help with the Iraq situation. We’ll just let them have it, and they can be shot at everyday instead of us. But what about Israel? Ah, let’s pay to fly ‘em to West Texas; then that endless problem will be done and over with. It will be a very small price to pay to avoid the high cost of another war, and eventual nuclear war. But, the American people will feel we will have “lost”? Just tell ‘em we didn’t. Yes, but O’Reilly and Hannity will be telling everyone that we did? Oh… Well, I guess we’d better start air raids then, and I’ll have to read some history books telling about 1979, so I can get angry to justify it. And what about North Korea? I found this anonymous fax letter dated February 21, 1998 at the bottom of a pile of papers stuffed in this desk. I’d say just keep doing that. It was titled: "Important Fax transmission to President William Clinton, The White House..." stating "As a very urgent issue that now exists in the news, I must now stress that sanctions should be lifted regardless of how evil Saddam Hussein is; simply because the people of Iraq are ‘innocent’ in the eyes of God." It goes on saying: "All sanctions actually do is ‘anger’ leaders more -- Saddam Hussein is probably not missing any meals because of these sanctions. (Remember what caused Hitler's army to become so powerful.) I recommend that you lift the sanctions ASAP, and further do even more things for the Iraqi ‘people’, that WILL cause THEM to like YOU better than Saddam Hussein. Isn't that the way Christ would do it? Maybe just say that God has inspired you to do it." Yeah, too late for Iraq and our military, but it’s working great in North Korea. Yeah, but that loon thinks there should be free and open bi-sexuality? You mean it’s not that way with older people?
Owen Wilson attempts suicide:
I don’t understand. Was the poor guy married?
There’s no way we’re going to give up all the work we’ve accomplished in Israel:
You add: Your stuff’s so far off the chart, Mr. Critical, that we only read it waiting for you to say something that will allow us the opportunity to have you committed. The President has top “educated” intelligent advisors, and the most well versed scholars who are fully rational and competent. Therefore, I ask you, how could it even be “possible” for the coming of the Jewish Messiah, to drive out Roman occupation, before the West Bank and Gaza is completely controlled by Israel? Okay, okay, pull back your hounds: I agree that the Messiah cannot reiterate His message of the Goldenrule until such has passed. (By the way, “reiterate” means to repeat something more than once.) So, go ahead and speed up the movements of the Jews so the Messiah can come and make all things good… again. Okay, there.
Too bad Mr. Critical wasn’t around in 70 A.D.:
Roman occupation was probably the best thing for the Jews, because the Old Testament is filled with wars, battles and attacks between towns in their area. During Roman occupation, the Jews couldn’t just attack one another, because Rome wouldn’t allow it. Rome sought peace within its Empire, unless Rome decided there was a need. Jesus told the Jews to not oppose the Roman occupation. But, I bet no Jew ever knew why until now. Other than the Jewish revolts, I think Rome had much better control of peace within its Empire, than obviously the U.S. has in Iraq. Roman Emperors must have been a lot smarter.
September Dawn (movie):
I heard the wagon people refused to disclose the location of their Weapons of Mass Destruction. So the Mormen were justified. Right George? I do remember discussing the event with Mormon missionaries back in 1991 (that’s [9]9-11, maybe). As I recall, they admitted the facts showed they did it, but that it was a mistake and that it was the darkest event in Mormon history which they are most ashamed of. George, let’s hear you admit error. Not gonna happen – Read my lips. I’m guessing they’re not as dumb as they look: I think the movie was produced by Democrats just to market contempt against Mitt Romney. It’s kinda hard to have sex after that movie, so do it before.
Someone’s disposed homework I found blown in my yard:
1. show
2. row
3. bow
4. low
5. crow
See, nobody likes George W. Bush.
1. bring
2. crash
3. grab
4. trip
5. drag
Well, we don’t have to go that far.
Okay, I won’t search my yard for answers anymore.
Lisa Nowa(l)k in space anymore:
If you all would like to “know” who is really guilty of her crime, then it is the Catholic Church for their continuance in supporting the demon lust marriage standard causing people to only desire one mate. I think you should let Nowak off, and O.J., and charge the Pope and his list of cardinals, bishops, etc. They all should know the true translations and wishes of Jesus. “Stupidity” can be their only defense. All crimes of sexually-based passion are fully attributable to the Catholic Church and their present day leaders. And they all (who have seen, but ignored) have one big surprise waiting for them on the other side.
Daniel G. Amen, M.D., neuroscientist, psychiatrist, and brain-imaging expert, told on Fox News 8-29-07 that it is very normal for one to experience “temporary insanity,” e.g., murder-suicide, etc., when they lose a (sexually based) partner. The Church really doesn’t care about the benefits to society or God. All they care about is themselves, i.e. saving face, just like President Bush. If they were an infallible mechanical machine, instead of an evil human animal, they’d have no problem adjusting to truth.
John Kasich interviews Ted Nugent on The Factor:
John Kasich basically told Ted that if you’re going to represent the Republican Party, then don’t be such an imbecile about it. Obviously John’s not smart enough to come up with this on his own, so someone from above told him to say it. You see, a supporter that’s famous that just makes an imbecile out of himself can’t really help matters too much: it opens the door for the just about as dumb Democrats to say: See, look what kind of minds (in the rock ‘n’ roll community) support their party. I mean, compare Ted to people like Bruce Springsteen. Listening to John and Ted converse reminded me of listening to my telephone answering machine when business’s leave pre-recorded messages on it. – Two mindless machines talking to one another. Plus, I’ve been to a lot of concerts, fans will yell and applaud to anything: they’re just there to party and have a good time.
Arnold terminates “marriage”:
California plans to legally change the word “marriage” to “domestic partnership.” That’s what it legally should be called. It’s just a major move against the churches’ definition, and will thereby help eliminate the churches’ strong exclusive sex-for-money conditions, and other antiquated has-to-be’s that don’t hurt anybody. Jesus and Paul would be proud of this move. Once we get rid of all the STDs “domestic partnerships” will still exist, but will have to soon find an even better method (to feed our kids) since there’ll eventually be so many people just having open / free sex. O’Reilly, President Bush, Archie Bunker, the Pope, etc. who are still living in the 1950s, know that STDs are the key to maintaining face. I recommend that also only people under 25 can become Pope and news commentators, to take a giant leap into a better future. (Maybe Arnold wants to try out one of those big women who can make a man feel more comfortable.)
“An uneasy feeling arising from conscience or principle that tends to hinder action”:
I think more precisely, President Bush is a bit smarter, and has some more scruples than Bill Clinton did; and Bill Clinton having less scruples, actually thought he had more. Hopefully, Wal-Mart will place scruples on sale some day; then we can buy ‘em up and wrap ‘em as Christmas presents for people who need ‘em. I’ll send my whole lot to the Pope.
Our “good” Church helps keep honesty on Capitol Hill:
Senator Craig worries that he’s gonna lose his taters (state), if he can’t find an opaque door for his closet.
Hey, don’t be an “al-Qaeda goomer” when writing oreilly@foxnews.com.
“What kind of a duck are you?”:
Remember, you all look like Mr. Bean to me, until you reach the beach with that great looking suit and tie.
Mr. Critical – Removing the planks from the eyes of the blind.
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