Subject: What are we going to do about the Iraq boner?
February 1, 2007
Let’s fix the Iraq boner first; then we can talk about the sexytime boner.
President Bush answers:
Understand this, Mr. Nobody, we’re going to stay the course and win this war, and force those people to like us, while maintaining face and not saying anything bad against America! Thank you for your interest [translated: You’re lucky you have Freedom of Speech, you smart-ass.]
Toby and Willie, 2002:
“Justice is the one thing you should always find: you got to saddle up your boys; you got to draw a hard line! When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune and we’ll all meet back at the local saloon. We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces, singin’ whiskey for my men, beer for my camels.” Let’s just pray they don’t sing it that way in Iraq. Oh, that’s right: they don’t drink alcohol, so we don’t have anything to worry about. Plus it doesn’t rhyme.
“It’s time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground. Send ’em all to their maker and he’ll settle ’em down. You can bet he’ll set ’em down.” Well, I wonder if God would think that’s a two-way street? We’re “one” nation under God. So, I guess no American will face Fair Afterlife Judgment for killing Iraqis. That’s comforting. How come I don’t hear the President and others saying “God bless America” anymore? Did I accomplish something nine months ago? As I did also during the Clinton administration. Did I make somebody feel… dumb? Presidents say it because they think it’s good verbal bootlick to an even dumber American public; but, internationally speaking, it’s not politically correct. So, instead of saying we Americans are just one-sided selfish bastards (who are so dumb we believe our own lies), we’ll just prove it to them by our actions.
Jane Fonda:
I still like very much to give her romance explosion. Is she married? It makes a big difference whether she’s married. Maybe I could sponsor a protest here in Kazakansas?
Iran:
Yeah, let’s just get along with them, even if we have to lose some face. You know, trade.
Isreal:
Let’s just move ‘em to the President’s ranch (because he deserves it); Eureka Springs, Arkansas (recreated Holy Land there); or Fair-Way, Kansas (just to impress God).
Man, some of those women on Fox News makes me need a cold shower:
I’ll go to Party Cove if they go. Some are foxes. However, don’t follow the weak individual (me), follow what I say: Create a fad for desiring variety in appearance. There’s a lot more (future) happiness to be found there. I might even have to get married if things get worse. Well… you know… in case I have to dodge the draft.
Is it me or you who doesn’t understand?:
There are three reasons you think I’m the dope: (1) because I’m a nobody, (2) because I speak contrary to what you’ve been taught, and (3) because you say it’s not what you’ve been taught, it’s just how you believe by your own intelligence – so that’s why I call you stupid, hence: because I insult you. But, if you still disagree, email me a map of the solar system marking where you think I am. Thank you.
Expert explains to O’Reilly about body language of State of the Union guests:
No, Hillary looked like she’s needs a visit to Kansas.
I find fault in everyone:
If you’ve liked my natter-chatter in the past, but somewhere I insulted you or your cause, then okay. I’m really unique. I start out assuming no one likes me, then if someone starts liking me, then I’ve probably muffed it. I’m all on my own in this big world; and, if I start having friends, then I won’t be able to correct as much fault, unbiasly. Now, if I have Roseanne-Rosannadanna’ed (misunderstood) something, let me know, so I can correct it. Incidentally, I’m an ovo-lacto vegetarian, but this PETA is vegan: no animal product whatsoever. I don’t know if that’s the way it should totally be, but I can’t find a good augment against it. My premise is like at the Missouri State Fair – “Save a horse: ride a cowboy” – there’s a cow milking demonstration, where bossy looks happy eating her hay while the pumps extract duh milk; while fathers, mothers and kids watch with interesting notice. But, what would happen if they had a cow slaughtering exhibit? Oh, my God, a whole different sentiment: “We’re never going back there. I don’t care if Charlie Daniels is playing. I’m still having nightmares.” I’d like to see that just once. Maybe I’ll request they do it, just for laughs. – Just to see how sick they will think I am. PETA stresses today’s cruel / burdensome methods for obtaining the milk and eggs as their obstruction. I have no compelling disagreement. But, mine is of a futuristic perfection that no one will ever be able to outdo, assuming that the animal is O.K. with it.
American soldiers got hit by insurgents dressed as American soldiers:
Now we’re going to have to kill all people who look like American soldiers, if we want to win this war.
I’d really like to quit all this writing, but this Iraq catch-22 is just too much fun to pass up, especially when it gets worse. And, I even have personal friends who have lost sons in Iraq. It just makes me want to write more. Help! I’m like drowning. I’m getting google-eyed looking at the computer. That’s when you power search so many good links that one eye is pointing one way and the other eye is pointing another. And you can’t get’em back together… until some of that expensive looking foxy Fox females come back on.
“You know you are a cute little heart breaker, ha, Foxy – yeah. … Now-a I see you come down on the scene, oh Foxy. You make me wanna get up and-a scream, Foxy. … Ooh, Foxy lady.” –Jimi Hendrix, 1967. Giving into lust, an intelligent attractive woman in a business suit does a lot more for me than that typical ding-dong look.
Substitute Teacher faces 40 years in prison for allowing 12-13 year-old students to see pornography:
40 years ago was 1967. Well, If You’re Thinkin’ What I’m Thinkin’ (–Dino, Desi and Billy), you might be right. So I don’t need to explain. I thought we weren’t the Taliban? Regardless, I wish someone would explain to me, exactly how it harms adolescents, or even “people below that age,” to see people having sex. You mean, if they see it done, they will want to do it (more)? I think the “people below that age [exists no specific word for that category anymore]” will just think gross and boring movie, can I turn the channel to something entertaining? The only reason they would want to see it today is because it’s something they are not supposed to see (I know how kids think, because I’m still one). Adolescents? You’ll be okay after your next cold shower. Or, if they are allowed to suffice that extremely powerful new desire, preferably with people their own age, which will surely lessen the multitude of other teenage problems and rebellion, how are they “harmed” if / when there are no STDs and use effective birth control???? Oh, you can’t really explain to me why, but you “just know” it’s extremely bad (40 years bad). I mean, I don’t know: If there’s a reason, I’m just saying I am too stupid to understand it (other than we’ve all been taught otherwise), so enlighten this dumb-dumb, here’s your chance, and I’ll strongly write against it (kids seeing porn). Play Dino, Desi and Billy, and see what kids that age can accomplish.
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By the way, to right is Eros, checkin’ out the action, the Greek pagan “god of sexual love” from Pompeii, AD 79 (the word erotic comes from the word Eros):
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Sure looks like the same characters in the excavated early Christian basilica of Aquileia, 313 AD (note Christian Chi-Rho [first 3 Greek letters in Christ]). Eros was used extensively in many Churches as the iconic representation of an angel, maintaining his nudity:
Today, do we live in a world full of pigs, or do we live in a world full of pigs? (Sorry if I’ve insulted any swine.) |
I remember Entercom radio got stiffed for $220,000 in 2004 by the FCC for local morning rock-jock Johnny Dare describing in too much detail, an on-air naked twister contest. Our government is not only still living in 1919, but is a Taliban want-to-be. But, explain to me how it can hurt someone? – That is, if it was legal. Can’t even have nudity on the radio. Instead, let’s send more people / sitting ducks / victims to their death in Iraq.
If you have a cell number and it has nothing to do with a telephone, you might be a redneck.
Whoopi Goldberg:
She can talk. I wish she could be a Vice President.
Saddam Hussein and Hugo Chavez:
The lesson is: If you’re a foreign leader, you’d better not ever use the First Amendment to express dismay toward the U. States; or, eventually you’ll be conquered. The First Amendment is our law, and other countries had better not think they can steel it from us. No country on this entire planet is allowed to be upset (emotionally or verbally) with the United States, or we WILL consider it a threat of war. We Americans are much more kindhearted than Emperor Caligula – who ordered the sword into anyone in the entire Roman Empire who laughs or smiles about anything, or has sex, during the decreed weeks of mourning after his loved one’s death – we allow Americans freedom of expression, only other countries must control their emotions and thoughts.
During Cavuto’s recent interview with President Bush, Bush said, “You know, what I care about is the Venezuelan people ….” Uh-oh, you know what that means: he’s going to be killing lots of them soon. You see, like Iraq was, Venezuela is now the smallest kid on the playground; so, Venezuela logically might be next. Bulc, bulc, bulc, bulc, bulc, PE-KUL!
Hey, for all of you who eat meat: 
The only Plan for Success can be Restitution:
I don’t know why I’m wasting my and your time talking about something that’s not going to happen; but, since so many people request this knowledge, here goes: First, everyone thinks “winning” the war with “success” means: we win, they lose. But, in a wealthy country, the only way would be a win-win deal: Restitution means more than just bringing things back to normal. If someone blew up your house and killed your wife and kids, then more than just a later, belated restoring of the house would be fair / fulfillment. I don’t know exactly what you’d have to give to make amends to that guy. There’s also payment needed for making his life hell in-between times. But, I do know that giving more than necessary is okay to do. Basically, I’m saying the best avenue is the same one I proposed in February of 1998. But, at this point in time, it’s going to cost a lot more. So, like I said, we’d better just start preparing for multitudes of terrorist attacks in our country in the future. The more insurgents we kill today, the worse it’s going to be for us tomorrow, because truth and fairness is not on our side concerning any of it. Future history will have all the stuff they need to list Bush as one of the major tyrants in history, up there with Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, etc. Bush is really not any worse than Clinton and the others, but all the hype revealing the face-saving reality will dominate his façade, mainly because of all the continuous blunders run amok in his adamant effort to not admit guilt, and inability to find a fix.
I used to recommend assassinating the foreign leader (the actual evil individual) instead of going to war:
You send one of those “odds are he won’t live to see tomorrow” (Johnny River, 1966) guys in, or something. Then you tell the dead leader’s people that the only reason you did it was because he planned to “kill innocent people.” And, you let their Vice or their people pick the next leader, and simply tell him to not kill any innocent people, or the same thing will happen to him. That’s the perfect way to handle it. (Again, an innocent person is anyone who has not killed an innocent person.) But, there’s no way the United States could do that because we kill innocent people, which would make the other country’s people think / know we did it for another reason. Therefore, they would not be able to accept it, and would retaliate. So, since we’ve lost our integrity, I don’t know what to recommend if / when you have a real bad foreign leader in the future (one that doesn’t just want to make WMDs for defense). I guess you have to rely on the “game standard” until the entire world doesn’t run anymore. It makes sense that everything may seem quiet until it’s too late to stop it. As pigheaded as we are, where we actually believe our own lies, it’s inevitable. Unless, again, we can force them to like us.
“Beware of pretty faces that you find: A pretty face can hide an evil mind.” Boy, I know that’s true.
Hillbilly hub police disallow woman to go to hospital to have baby, causing later stillbirth:
Obviously a mistake of the officer: she didn’t believe her, thinking victim was just trying to evade arrest. Stupid, yes; but, Fox News was even impressed with the Kansas City Police Dept. wishing to not cover up evidence. I’m impressed as well. What if all cops were that way? Does anyone think it’d be a better world?
Hey, for all of you who eat meat: 
Mr. Cat-Critical:
I don’t recommend provoking others, unless (1) you know what you’re talking about, (2) you know you’re protected by the First Amendment, and (3) you’re human:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXZ8H3PuWwg&mode=related&search=
When you’re different, sometimes it’s just nice to know you have commonality is this world.
Mr. Critical, in Kansas – Keeping a straight line on the issues:
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